The quick guide on how to lose a friend. (And what to actually do to help them)

We all have that one friend in your friendship group who no one likes. You know, the one who just invites them selves into your house on the first day of knowing them. eat all your food and wear you clothes. but then goes and says things about you behind your back. we have with been there or currently dealing with it. Even though they are the pain of the century you are just to kind to tell them to jog on, maybe they cant help being mean? maybe they grew up being selfish. NO. You don’t need to put up with it. These are silly but qerky ideas which would be hilarious if tried.

1-Make them pay for all the drinks.

When you go out order loads of drinks and then tell them that you are going to take them to the table and then don’t come back. just leave them there to pay for the drinks. when they come back just explain that you got occupied. “Look its Garry from Tesco!”. If you cant do this sober som,e dutch can be added. couple of shots and you are ready.

2-Go for a walk and accidentally trip and knock them into the canal.

Of-course you make sure they can swim before hand and make sure you don’t hurt them. but wouldn’t it sen the message? just find a nice little river or canal or something wet. trip over something, your own foot, be smart, and then land on them. once they are in the river laugh a little. they cant want to still be your friend.pretty river

3-Find the Ex.

I think you know where this one is going. Find the ex boyfriend. whatever it takes. Then invite him over, flirt a little bit. Woops she has walked in. What to do? This part is up to you. Go after her and explain and try to cheer her up. obviously don’t be to nice or the whole point of it goes and the window and she will forgive you for the river incident. But you don’t want to devastate the girl so keep it normal.

4-Put a spider in her bed.

This one is my favorite. If you don’t like spiders the entertainment will be worth the icky ness. Just find a lovely spider from some where and put it in her bed or where ever she is about to be and sit and wait. If it doesn’t wobble your friendship it will create entertainment for certain! You could always go for a snake if she doesn’t like spiders. to much? OK your right, stick with spiders and creepy crawlies.

spider

5-Or you could just talk the the girl.

This one is not so fun. In all seriousness, maybe she doesn’t understand what she is doing wrong. Maybe she is not good with boundaries because she was never taught the whole boundaries thing. She could just be a bright bubbly person who thinks its all good. Just sit down with her, maybe with someone else if it makes you feel less awkward, just don’t make her feel ganged up on. Do it some where bright. Just explain about the things she is doing that you don’t like and how it is effecting you. If it is something she cant help, come to an agreement and she will slowly get better. Everybody needs friends and growing up you make new friends every day so one day you could be in her position and you would wish someone would sit down with you before pushing you into a river. 🙂 Enjoy.

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